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Thread: Mum in Denial

  1. #1
    Courtney D's Avatar
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    9th June 2017
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    29th June 2017

    Mum in Denial

    My mum has recently been diagnosed with COPD - Emphysema in the last 2 months.

    She does not really acknowledge her illness and does not talk about it much with me or my siblings. We all want to help as much as possible.

    I have found information for her and tried to get her to see a specialist. She just sees her GP and is happy to bury her head in the sand. Her emphysema is quite mild at the moment and I have told her that if she does something about it soon she will be better off. She lives by herself but all of her kids (4 of us) are nearby and happy to help.

    Do you think she will come around in time or should I keep pushing it? Any help would be appreciated.

  2. #2
    Avril Smith's Avatar
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    11th October 2017
    Hi Courtney,

    Sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis.

    The diagnosis is so recent, so it just might take a while for her to get her head around it. I would give her some time to digest the information before giving her any more. Keep the conversation open, so it doesn't become a taboo or awkward topic when you do talk about it. It's possible she also doesn't want to worry her children. I'm sure her doctor has discussed the illness in more detail with her.

    I agree, the more pro-active the is about dealing with it, the better prepared she can be. Has she told you what stage she has been diagnosed at?

  3. #3
    Colin Spinks's Avatar
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    8th October 2017
    Courtney,
    Seems like her GP diagnosed the Emphysema. I don't know if this is possible, but see if her GP can be proactive and send her to a lung specialist. These guys are not cheap however, and most of them have a business on the side for sleep apnoea tests ($$$ Ka Ching). Best to see if your hospital is able to test her.
    Smoker??

  4. #4
    Moderator Penelope Scheenhouwer's Avatar
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    7th November 2017
    Hi Courtney,
    I'm with Colin re seeing a specialist. Perhaps one of you could go with her to that appointment if she is amenable to it.
    I know when I got diagnosed with mild emphysema (stage 1 COPD) I was in shock and forgot much of what my specialist said. Fortunately my husband was with me to support and remember! I came to be very accepting quite soon but found it difficult to talk about with others as they often would be in shock or upset and I did not want to be the cause of that. That too has come to pass for me but I was diagnosed 18 months ago now.
    Understanding, support and time are all super important for your mum right now.

    Regards, Penelope

  5. #5
    Courtney D's Avatar
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    Thanks Colin,

    We would love for her to see a specialist. She can afford to see one, her house is paid off and she has a good income. I think she would prefer someone privately. Its just a matter of convincing her.

    She did smoke when she was young but gave it up in her late 20's. Its unbelievable to think that something that you do so long ago affects you now.

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